So Done With Boys

I can't believe I'm talking about it again. Boys? "What's wrong with boys?" you may asked. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM. If I know, I would've not felt so confused about it. Everything feels fucked up. Whatever I do seems so wrong. I'm just so tired of it. I mean, how the fuck stop these messed up feelings?

Never have I ever, have a boy friend that will be proud to be my friend, that will tell people that I'm his friend, that will introduce me as his friend  to his friend? THE ANSWER IS NEVER. I'm not saying that I need them to do that, but if they do, I just feel more appreciated. I feel like they like my company, but they won't tell. I MEAN, WHY??? Is it because I'm ugly? I'm fat? So fucked up!

If you're saying, "you just gotta find a right boy that will be proud of you." THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT, okay? ALL BOYS ARE THE SAME, like literally the same. LIKE ALL OF MY EXES EMBARRASSED TO TELL HIS FRIENDS THAT I'M HIS GF, well except 2 boys. AND I GOT PLAYED TOO MUCH, TOOK ADVANTAGE TOO MANY TIMES. ARE THEY EVEN HAVE A FUCKING HEART?!?!?

I really can't believe I'm mad just because of boys. Something isn't so important, they're so worthless to think about. I should've thinking about something else, such as food or what movie should I watch. Boys are so worthless and pointless. I should've live in Wonder Woman's place, where is no boy population. Cause I'm a strong woman who need no fucking man.

Reasons Why Sometimes I Feel Suicidal

Hey, it's me. Ready to tell you my rant...again...as always, feeling bluetiful (I made that up, that means when you're feeling blue/sad but also feeling beautiful at the same time).

So, my previous post is about a few lame tips for people who have suicidal thought. I don't know why, but I feel the need to keep up the theme. So, I was thinking why not telling why I feel it, why I feel that way. Because you know, some people would say, "oh you're just following the trend, just stop it and forget about it."

Let's just be honest here, the thought won't go away from me. Like at least I have suicidal thought once a month, or even worse, once a week.Like one day I'd feel all fine, and the next day I'd feel I just want to die or never existed at the first place, and then I'd be okay again. That's how it works for me.

The reasons why I never do it because I never have a gut to do it. Because everybody knows that it's gonna be so freaking painful. So, actually I'm still looking for a way to do it painlessly, even though I know there's no way to do it without feeling any pain. And the other reason is that I'm afraid of uncertainty of the afterlife. Because you never know what's going to happen, just like life, you'll never know what's gonna happen tomorrow.

I believe that everyone has their own reasons why they feel suicidal. I have my own too. And you're about to read it. I don't care if you don't believe it, I'm not gonna trying to make you believe it anyway. No matter how many proofs I give to you, if you don't believe it in the first place, you'll never believe it.

Depression is like the main reason why I have suicidal thoughts so many times. But there are reasons why I have depression that which is make me have suicidal thought. 

1. Loneliness
I remember when I was young, I'd hit my head as hard as I could to the wall, and I'd stop when I feel tired. I also remember, I'd cry so hard under the table in the living room in the dark. I remember I was blaming myself for being so sad, for being so lonely. I remember I had depression when I was young and never asked for help. I do had friends at Elementary school, but as soon as I entered my house, the depression hit my face like a truck. And during waiting for my parents to came home, I'd do literally anything to make myself not lonely, and when the loneliness hits me, I'd cry myself out or hit my head to the wall.

Somehow the depression gone when I entered Middle school until High school. Maybe because when I got home, I didn't have a chance to feel lonely, because my mom is already back from work. But now it comes back. I do have friends, 3 amazing best friends. But they're all busy, and I'm here jobless, not going to college. So, I cannot talk to them whenever I want to talk to them because I'm afraid that I'm gonna interrupt them.

This feeling makes me feel so worthless. I feel like nobody wants me at all. So, I always think, if nobody wants me anymore, what's the point still living this miserable life?

2. Financial Crisis
I'm jobless, but not totally jobless. I help my mom at the cafeteria of a big company, and somehow our income is decreasing. You know everything needs money such as electric bills and food. It's just so frustrating that we have so much to pay but we have less income. I feel like this is my fault, I just make my Mom's life more harder than before, that's why I have suicidal thought, I think if I die, her life would be easier, so much easier.

3.Abusive Family
Last but not least, my abusive family. This one is super complicated to tell, so hard to put it into words. 
But the point is they are not physically abusive but mentally, and you know what, it hurts more than anything. My Mom abused me physically a couple times but the pain will gone in 2-3 days.

So...Please Kill Me. Just Kidding. But seriously tho, kill me already. Anyway, thanks for coming by. Bye

#TBT: How I Met Peter and Yoshi

Peter in the left side and Yoshi in the right side

Hello people! What is up? Today is Thursday, so, you guys ready for another TBT story? Today's story is about how I met Peter and Yoshi. If you guys didn't know who they are just google them, okay? Okay!

I'm just gonna give you a brief summary about them. Yoshi is actor/model/stuntman who starred in Power Ranger Dino Charge as the Blue Ranger Koda, and Peter is actor/model/YouTuber who created a YouTube channel called Apartment 210. So, actually, I knew Yoshi as a stuntman of Minho from The Maze Runner movie. How I met him? The story is about to begin!

So, that time I was hang out with my friend who evidently loves Thomas Brodie Sangster. And then we had a chat about him, how cute he is and also about The Maze Runner movie. And then, one day, she told me that the actor who starred as Minho wants to come to Indonesia in meet and greet event. She said she will go there with her friend. I was freaking out, who the hell doesn't want to meet Ki Hong Lee? So, she told how to join the event. But, unfortunately, there were only 10 seats from The Maze Runner ID and when I wanted to join, it was already full.

So, I was so sad and tried to accept it. And then I told my friend that it was already full so I couldn't come with her. My friend was sad too cause she had no idea how to go there, because apparently it's kinda far from our houses and also she had no friend to go there. So yeah I was just try to accept it.

But, then, a few days later and also a few days before the meet and greet, my friend told me that her friend couldn't come to the meet and greet and then I was like "BOOM! SO I CAN GO THERE CAUSE YOUR FRIEND CANCELED IT!!!" And then I got the ticket...but with her name on it.

This is my ticket or whatever it's called

When the big day came, we decided to come earlier cause to be honest we never went there before. We ordered Go-Jek. And we arrived there safely and happily. Like I said, we never went there before, so we were need to look around for looking where Marche restaurant exactly is, cause that mall is huge af. So we finally found it and the event started at 2 PM but we arrived at 11 AM so we went to somewhere before the event started. We didn't bring a lot of money, so we afraid we couldn't afford the price at Marche so we decided to eat in another restaurant before we got in to Marche. We ate in Yoshinoya cause we could afford the price and also it's near with Marche.

We were waiting in Yoshinoya until 2PM and then we got into Marche. We sat down and wait until Yoshi and Peter came. But, my friend and I didn't know that they were gonna come, we were expected that Ki Hong Lee who was gonna come. After 15 minutes or so waiting, finally they came. And stupidly, my friend and I were like,  "Who are they?" And the person who sat next to me said that it's Yoshi and Peter, she told us that Yoshi is a stuntman of Minho from The Maze Runner, and at that moment we both realized that we got the wrong information, we thought that Ki Hong Lee who starred Minho that was gonna come, but actually Yoshi who was a stuntman of Minho that was gonna come. My friend and I felt so stupid and a little bit disappointed, but that's all fine because damn...Yoshi and Peter are super hot.

Yoshi and Peter came with Yoshi's wife, Peter's girlfriend, and a little girl that I forgot who she is. They started the event. Yoshi and Peter told a lot of stories. And then we had a Q and A session. And in the middle of Q and A session, they brought an epic birthday cake for Peter, Peter's birthday is actually on August 20th, it's late but late is better than nothing at all, am I rite?

After the Q and A session, we had photo session which means we could take a pic with them, ask them to sign something. And thankfully, I got a chance to take a pic with them, so yay!!! And I even had a chance to hug Yoshi and Peter!!!

After photo session done, Yoshi and Peter left. And then we had doorprize session, but sadly my friend and I got nothing. I was about to feel sad, but then they announced that for the person that didn't win the doorprize could get a free book, I got a book called The Atlantis Gene. It really is a good book.

With The Maze Runner ID members

So yeah, that's how I met the famous Yoshi and Peter in Marche, Grand Indonesia. Thanks for coming by.

FINALLY IT CAME!!!

HEY GUYS!!! How are you awesome people? I am so happy right now. Can you guys guess why? If you can't guess it, don't worry, I'll tell you why am I so happy right now. First of all, because today is Friday which means tomorrow is Saturday, which also means tomorrow is weekend, so I could stay on my bed, watch TV shows all day all night.

And second of all, something just came yesterday. What was that? So you guys probably know that I'm a fan of The Maze Runner. And, on my previous post I told you that I preorder The Fever Code. So, it just came yesterday.

One of my internet friend preorder it too but from different online store. And then, before I got my own TFC book, she texted me saying that she just got hers. And I was so worry, why I haven't got mine? So I opened bukabuku.com and I look at my transaction and it showed "Process" which means they haven't got the book from the publisher, so I feel relieved but a bit mad cause I thought why take so long.

Anyway, I feel so happy right now cause I have it now. I got it when I was about to iron my clothes and then my nephew, Keenan, called me from downstairs that someone was looking for me. And then I knew it was my book, I ran downstairs and get my book. After I got it, I ran to my roon to open the package. I saw a beautiful black snapbag with yellow letters on it, says "WCKD is GOOD". I was looking on it for a solid 5 minutes and then opened the snapbag to see my book that I've been waiting for so long. I was admire the cover for a couple minutes. And then I opened the first page and I got my TFC bookmark. This is one of a reason why I love translated book, because I got the bookmark, so I didn't have to buy one.

I was looking through all the pages (just looking at it, not reading it), and then I remembered, I should've got free sticker, where is it? I was looking through all the pages for so many times, maybe the sticker stuck between two pages but nothing. And then I looked inside the snapbag,  there is nothing in there too. You think that I'm not looking in package that I've thrown it away to trash can? I did it too and I got nothing. So I asked my friend is she got the sticker or nah cause I didn't, and she said yes, she got. I was mad cause I didn't get the sticker, cause I preorder it because I want the sticker and the snapbag
But when I looked at the snapbag and the book, I feel fine again. I was like, screw the sticker, at least I got my book and my snapbag.

So there you guys go. There is my happy news that I could share to you guys! I haven't read the book but I will soon and I think I'm gonna make a review about it as soon as I'm done reading it. I hope you guys like this shitty post, and if you did, please give a reaction down below. Comment and also share! Thank u guys for visiting and keep visit my blog. Happy Friday guys, xoxo.

#TBT: I Regret I Kiss Him

HEY, WHAT IS UP AWESOME PEOPLE? So today is Thursday, and I think I'm gonna start a new thing where I tell my old story when I was a kid or a teenager (wait, I am a teenager, isn't I?). And today I'm gonna tell my story how I kiss my ex-long-time-crush. This is gonna be a long story. So without further words, lets talk about it!

So, I have a crush with a guy (let's call him Scott, it's not his real name, I can't tell you the real name cause he probably gonna found out about this post) since I was on fifth grade. No, actually since I was on fourth grade but I didn't really sure about it cause I had a boyfriend back in that day (Yups, I'm on Elementary School and I have a boyfriend, please don't judge me).

We were in the same class and we kinda like to hangout together, so we always met and that's makes me like him more and more. He kinda cool. He's charming, he has tan skin and also he is a tall guy (I like tall guy tho).

After I felt sure that I have a crush on him, I told my close friend who also my classmate. But you know, people can't keep shit, specially girls. So my close friend told the other people in my class but gladly he (Scott) didn't know that I liked him, so that's fine.

The other day I had a chat with my classmate (let's call her Helga, its not the real name tho). And out of nowhere she changed the topic and she asked me if I like Scott or not. I'm shook! But I thought every girls in my class have known it so I said yes. And then she said, "I like him too!" I have no idea what to do, what to say, so we were just being quite for a couple minutes.

In the same day, same hour, another girl came, her name is Pamela (again, it is not her real name). And she had a confession to tell us. And guess what! She liked him too. I'm more shook! So, Pamela knew that Helga and I liked Scott too, so when she saw Helga and I talking together and she decided to tell us.

After that crazy moment, Helga, Pamela and I were often hangout together. We were kinda fangirl-ing together. We were sharing some information that we knew about Scott, what he liked, what he recently wanted, where he lived.

And after a couple weeks, we decided to do a stupid slash crazy idea ever. Can you guys guess what we did? I bet you can't guess it. We decided to make a letter (literally a letter, back in that day, I think we didn't have a phone cause we were too young to have a phone) to tell him that we liked him. That's so fucked up! You know what even worse? We asked him to choose one of us to be his girlfriend.

That time I had a feeling that he's not gonna choose me cause Helga and Pamela more good looking than me, specially Helga. But the thing that made me confident is that Scott and I liked to hangout together. So I thought he probably gonna choose me.

I forgot how we gave him the letter but he answered it the same day as we gave the letter to him. Guess who he chose? Obviously not me, duh. He chose Helga! I felt so betrayed that day. But I was successfully pretend that I'm fine, I'm cool with it.

A day after that fucked up moment, Scott and I were still hangout together, like nothing happened, like there was my name not on that letter. Even sometimes Scott told me that how happy he was cause he liked Helga too. I'M SHOOK!

Cause we were still hanging out together, so I thought I'm just gonna accept the fact that it's better that we were being best friend. So I tried to move on, I tried to find another guy, and I found one. I forgot who my bf was, but he was my classmate too. So that day we liked to tell our stories about our relationship and stuffs. His relationship with Helga kinda long tho. They were together til ninth grade or eighth grade.

So, on eighth grade we were still hangout and we were like to chatting/ messaging (we already had a phone so we can send message and stuff). We were in the same school but different class, but sometimes I liked to go to his class to hangout with him. That day I was single and he was not, he was still in the relationship with Helga and I had changed my boyfriend so many times. And I realized I had a crush on him, A G A I N!

One night, we texted about something. I remember it was Sunday night. I forgot what we talked about but then he changed the topic. He said on message that he wanted to kiss Helga but he was afraid that Helga didn't want to. And also he said he was curious how it fells to kiss someone. Because I had kissed a guy on seventh grade, I said it was good and fun and stuff. And then he asked me can he kiss me. And I was reading it for so many times, I couldn't believe that he asked me to kiss him. And you know what? I said yes!!! I thought why not, I had a crush on him that day. I thought if I can't have him, at least I can kiss him.

So, we promised that we were not gonna tell people that we kissed cause you know he was still in the relationship with Helga. And then we managed to meet near our middle school. When I got there, he already there. I was kinda nervous and so was he. And then he asked me, "are you ready?" And I said yes. And then we kissed. That kiss is kinda lame tho, I didn't really like it. But he thanked me so many times, so I think he liked it.

A day after that, on Monday, as soon as I got in school I told my close friend aka my classmate that Scott and I were kissing yesterday. I was so happy, I couldn't keep a shit by myself. And also my friend have promised me that she wouldn't tell anyone.

On Monday in the afternoon, I texted Scott and he won't reply and I was so confused. I tried to keep message him and then he replied. He said that he disappointed with me cause I can't keep a secret. So we were not talking for a year I guess and we were not that close again. We texted sometimes but not that often like we used to.

But now, we are lost contact, we are never meet again, the last time we met is when elementary school reunion which is 3 years or 4 years ago. I never talk to him again even though we are in a group chat but we never talk. I was following him on Twitter and Instagram and I asked him to follow me back and then he just said yes but he didn't follow me, so I unfollow him on Twitter also Instagram. I tried to keep in touch with him but he seemed not want to.

So, that's it guys. That's one of fucked up stories that I have when I was young. I regret that I kiss him that day. Please learn from my mistake. Thanks for reading this story. Please give a reaction on down below and comment as well. Keep visit my blog and stay awesome! Byeeee, xoxo.

Restoran Berkelas, Katanya

Hey guys!

Jadi kemarin (hari Rabu tepatnya) gue dan temen gue jalan ke sebuah restoran di daerah Kemang. Kita pilih restoran yang ada rooftopnya. Kita searching searching di internet dan dapat lah satu tempat yang menurut temen temen bagus viewnya.

Kita dress up biasa aja, gak terlalu glamor. Kita gak tau kalo tempatnya itu restoran berkelas (atau mungkin gue doang yang gak tau).

Jujur aja gue gak biasa makan di restoran yang mahal mahal gitu. Bahkan itu pertama kali gue ke restoran seperti itu. Biasanya mah gue ke Maccas (Australian slang untuk McDonald's) atau gak ke Pizza Hut.

Gue jalan berenam naik grabcar. Sampe sana kita disambut sama pelayannya. Gue berdiri paling belakang (itu semacam kebiasan gue kalo jalan paling belakang). Lalu terjadilah percakapan antara teman gue dan pelayan. Kita pengennya dapet table yg dirooftop karena kita mau foto foto (biasalah nowadays). Tapi ternyata kalo kita pilih table itu ada minimum paymentnya. Dan katanya min. paymentnya sebesar 1juta. Gue dan teman temanpun kaget, karena menurut kita itu cukup banyak. Kita pun akhinya pilih table yg di dalem karena gak ada minimum paymentnya.

Setelah beberapa dekit kita duduk, kita berdiskusi tentang ambil table di rooftop yang kita incer. Dan setelah sepakat, kita pindah ke table yg di rooftop itu.

Sampe di table idaman, kita pilih makanan dan minuman yang kira kira bisa mencapai total minimum payment. Setelah order makanan, temen temen gue pada langsung foto foto di tempat yg menurut mereka viewnya bagus, except gue dan salah satu teman gue (sebut saja dia Ica). Gue duduk duduk aja sama ica sambil membicarakan restoran itu dan hal lainnya. Gue sejujurnya agak bingung dan risih selama disana. Dan gue juga kecewa sama restoran itu, atau lebih tepatnya sama service disana.

Menurut kita pelayan disana judes judes. Kenapa? Pertama, waktu pelayannya bawa makanan yang kita pesan dan bilang kalo pesenan kita udah semua, gue bilang "makasih" dan dia diem aja langsung balik. Kedua, pas kita minta fotoin sama pelayannya, dia jawab "sebentar", sedangkan sama yang lainnya langsung difotoin.

Makanan disanapun gak begitu enak. Most of us pesen pasta, dan menurut gue masih enakan pasta di Pizza Hut atau Steak 21. Temen gue pesen sandwich, dan dia bilang yang enak dagingnya aja. UdaRACISTh gitu, salah satu dari minuman yang kita pesen ada rambutnya.

Ada lagi yang bikin gue kecewa. Menurut gue customers dan pelayan disana RASICT. Jujur aja emang dari penampilan kita biasa-biasa aja. Dan rata rata customers disan,a pada ngeliatin kita, menganggap kita lemah, gak punya uang, miskin, atau gak mampu bayar makanan disini. Kata temen gue, ada satu customer dr gerombolan cewe cewe hitz yang ternyata juga norak menertawakan kita. Tapi ya i don't give a fuck juga sih, cuma kecewa aja orang orang pada RACIST dan JUDGE BY IT'S COVER.

Kalo di inget inget pasti bikin kesel deh. Tapi gue selalu mencoba buat "take a good side of things". So menurut gue, itu buat pengalaman aja dan buat pelajaran. Gue dapet 3 hal yang buat jadi pelajaran, yaitu 1. Jangan RACIST, 2. Don't judge a book by it's cover, 3. Jangan pernah ke restoran berkelas lagi.

That's it guys. Mungkin gue gak cocok sama restoran berkelas gitu, gue cocoknya dikamat aja, delivery Maccas atau Pizza Hut sambil baca buku.

Thanks for reading my another gak penting shit. I love you guys, a lot. See you on my next post xoxo

This Is Me

WARNING!!! I just want to tell about my rant. So if you looking for something useful in your life, I suggest you to stop reading this because I don't know where/who should I tell my shitty rant.

So, I told you guys that I'm in Pare-dise to learn more about English language. And some of my friends want to have a trip somewhere tomorrow. And I'm not interested at all, like at all! Because I'm not a person that like travelling or something like that, I rather stay in home, reading books and listening music.

One of my friend insist me to come with them but still I don't want to because I have another plan to go to bookstore and also I don't like travelling to a place like mountain or forest or something that nature. And my friend keep saying, "Tias, you don't have adventure in your life" and I was like, "Bitch...do you think I care about that? Bitch I don't care at fucking all." And she keep saying that. It's so annoying. I come here to study I don't have plan to go somewhere or having vacation. I don't get it. Like she is judging me because I don't want to come. I'm so piss off. And unfortunately she is my fucking roommate. Oh God just kill me. I really hate her.

Peace, Love.

I'm in Pare-dise

Hey guys! How's life lately? I hope you guys doing well. And today i want to tell you guys about my story. Without further do, let's get started.

So I'm at Kampung Inggris now with my best friend. It's been 5 days that I'm in here. If you didnt know about Kampung Inggris, then i will tell you. So, Kampung Inggris is a place in Kediri, Jawa Timur, Indonesia. Kampung Inggris is like a place for learning English language. Kampung Inggris is English Village in English. The reason that I go to Kampung Inggris is because I think I'm still bad at English because English is not my first language and i want to speak English fluently so i can talk with my internet friend around the world. And I got so many lesson here about grammar, how to pronoun a word, get new vocabularies and expressions. And i got so many friends with different ages but they usually older than me, around 20 yo and so. And also, it teach me to be independent because i have to live by myself or you may say without my parents.

And i like the place as well. But there is one thing that i dont like. The weather in Kampung Inggris is quite hot and my room has no AC. Actually i could choose the room with AC but it's quite expensive. I rather spend my money on food lol because I'm abliguration. But for all it's amazing. The price of the food in here is cheaper than Jakarta. You might be able to spend Rp 500,000 or less for a month.

There is a lot of courses here. My bestie and I chose Pare-dise as our course and camp. Pare-dise camp has 2 place, Pare-dise girls camp and Pare-dise boys camp. For sure that my bestie and I stay in Pare-dise girls camp. Is quite fun here because there is some rules here. One of the rule is we can't speak Bahasa Indonesia in the camp, we must speak English for like 15 hours start from 6AM to 9PM. Which is quite hard for us because we're not usually speak English in our daily activity before we came here. And if we speak Bahasa we get 1 point for 1 word. For example, if i say "aku mau makan" it's count as 3 words and then i get 3 points. If i get 1 point i have to pay Rp 500. I think i got a lot of points lol.

So there's you have it. There is another shit story that i can give to you guys. Thank you so much for reading my shit. That means a lot to me. I love you guys. Xoxo

My Goal

It's a really really good day for not doing anything. Well...I'm not doing anything everyday. All i do just sleep, eat and read. Yups Read. It's really weird that now i like reading so much. I dont know why, it's just so weird. And i could spend all my money to buy a book. Every week my mom give me some money and i spend it all to buy some books. After that my mom will ask me where all my money goes and i told her that i bought some books and then she mad at me. Such a weirdo.

Well my goal is having a bookshelf with a lot of books. But 1. I dont have a bookshelf, even though i have bookshelf 2. I dont have a lot of books. So im always gonna buy books and im gonna safe the rest of the money to buy a bookshelf. I hope i can do that, wish me luck *fingercrossed*

What the hell am I doing with my life?

Lately, I have no job and nothing to do. So I'm always checking my phone to make sure that nobody text me. And yeah, nobody text me.

Now I have nothing to do, and I got so bored. So I decided to open Instagram, and then I found a picture with some questions, and BOOM! I get an idea to make a post about it. Without future do, let's get started!

1. Name
My name is Tias Witri Astuti. Ya must be already know it.

2. Height
I'm not sure about it, but I guess it's 165cm.

3. Weight
Tbh idk, I guess more than 80kg and less than 100kg. I know I know, I'm fat af.

4. Age
Still seventeen, eighteen sooner.

5. Birthday
October 29th, 1997 #pleasegivemeagift

6. Girl BFF
Saviska maybe, idk. I don't believe something that forever

7. Guy BFF
Hm I don't have a boy friend, so I'm gonna say my brother, Arif.

8. Crush
THOMAS BRODIE-SANGSTER, bitches!!!

9. Ever fall in love
idk, food maybe.

10. Favorite food
PIZZA!

11. Last text
Hmm, nobody text me

12. Battery percentage
27%

13. Eye Color
Black

14. Addiction
Food

15. Favorite song
It's always change every week, but this week is Same Old Love from Selena Gomez.

16 . Favorite animal
Cat

17. Favorite color
I'm not quite sure, I guess it's black.

18. Shoe size
41/42

19. Sing in the shower
Yeah, im always sing in the shower and the song is Shower by Becky G

20. One wish
To be a member of Taylor Swift's Squad

21. Best time in your life
When I was a kid.

22. Country you live in
INDONESIA, baby!

23. Pets
A hamster named Hammie. My parents won't let me pet a cat.

24. Plan on getting married
I'm not planning on getting married, married are suck. It can get broken like a glass.

25. Favorite subject
My glasses, can't live without it.

26. First kiss
He is an 370HSSV.

27. Insecure
My food in a fridge, my siblings might be eat it.

28. Ever self-harmed
Being nice to some bitches.

29. Who you love
THOMAS BRODIE-SANGSTER, baby!!

30. Miss anyone
I miss my self, when I was young.

31. Hair color
Ombre black to golden brown, I guess.

32. Relationship status
No comment!

33. Last song you heard
Back to December by Taylor Swift.

34. Biggest fear
God, pool, and being dumped

35. Believe in ghost
I do

36. Something you hate
When I put some food to eaten later, but my siblings eat it.

37. Favorite TV Show
Glee, American Dad, New Girl, Devious Maids, Suburgatory,  Phineas and Ferb, Kick Buttowski, The Amazing World of Gumball, Adventure Time, and many more.

38. Favorite movie
The Maze Runner Series

39. Favorite book
The Maze Runner series and Maximum Ride series.

40. Favorite food
Burger

41. Jealous of
Isabella Melling

42. Star sign
I have none, but I hope Thomas Sangster.

43. Middle name
Witri, which means the third children.

44. Worst habbit
Nothing, I'm perfect bitches.

45. Number of siblings
Two

46. Name of siblings
Arif dan Dian

47. Sports you play
Sleeping and eating *smileyfacewithnosins*

48. Talents
Is fart while sleeping a talent? if it is, it's my talent.

49. Embarrassing moment
Fall down in public place.

50. Future career choice
To be Thomas Sangster's wife.

Huft, it's a tough things to do. But finally it's done! Thanks for reading, hope u guys like it. See you in my next post.

I'm Done

Yup, I'm done! I'm done with love, I'm done with boys. Boys are like such crap. Such a bullshit. Or maybe asshole. Like literally they are so bad, evil, or maybe even worst. I don't know what boys thinking. I hate boys.

When I like a boy, and I think we're getting close, but then when I feel sure that I like him, he go away like nothing happen with us. I don't know it's because I'm just too ugly to be his girlfriend or its just their behaviour to dump a girl when she like him. It's so confusing me. It happen to me like 3 times.

I'm just like being fool. Like I trapped in a drama. This is like bullshit. Like seriously? is this happening?  It makes me don't trust any boys. They are such a dick. I'm done with boys.

P.S. Sorry for any words that not polite. Peace.

Broken?

Being a brokenhome kid is not fun actually. Lot of drama u get. My parents officially getting divorce when I'm 15 yo. I actually don't know why, maybe because I'm the youngest in my famil, so they won't tell me about that cause they thought I'm too young to know about that things. And I'm pretty shocked that is happen to me. And the things that make me more surprise is my mom already have someone new and not telling her children about that. My mom tell me and My bro my sis when she officially divorce with my dad. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Suck to tell, read and hear. Just nevermind.

The important things is, I just need more love. My mom is too busy find money for growing up me and my siblings. And usually my dad give more love to me. But they're getting divorce, I barely see him. But thankfully I have my amazing siblings and my super best friends.

I have a brother, he's the oldest. He's 28 yo, and he's single and jobless. He's always home, he's always there when I need a joke, he's always there when I need someone to throw all my emotions. He's the best in da world.

And then I have a sister. She's 23 yo, she's already married and have a child. I tell everything to her. About my suck crush, my fake friends, my shit and many more. She teach me how to using make up. She's the best bitch ever.

Last but not least, I have my super amazing best friend. We're know about 15 yo ago. We're always study in the same school. Same playground, same elementary school, same junior high school, even senior high school. And now we're planning have a same college or same office. She's like my family. She cheer me up when I'm feeling down. And when I'm falling down she's laugh at me, that's what best friend do.

Just want to say thanks for my siblings and my bf. Thanks for cheer me up. Thanks for put a colorful day to my empty life. Thanks for everything. Sorry that I hurt u or do something bad. There's no one perfect, right?

And thank u very much for u guys that want to read my stupid blog. I know that my blog is super suck and sorry about that. Sooner or later I will improve the quality of my blog. Once again thanks for reading this drama shit. And see u on my next post.

Hello and Good Bye

Thirteen days ago, Jill give birth for two babies. One looks like Jill and the other one have white color. I decided give a name "Snow" to the white one.

Two days ago, I lost my hamster, Jack. Dia dimakan sama kucing tetangga gue yang gak pernah dikasih makan sama tetangga gue. And then the day after I lost Jack, I lost Jill's baby. It's the white one, Snow. Dia mati karena gak bisa nafas ketiban serbuk kayu. Umurnya baru 12hari. Gue kubur dia di pot tempat jemuran.

Di hari yang sama dengan meninggalnya anak Jack dan Jill. Gue dapet hamster lagi dari kakak gue yang cewe. Dia beliin dua hamster. Mereka mirip banget, jadi gue kasih nama seperti anak kembar yaitu, Moza dan Mozy. Gue gak tau mereka itu cewe atau cowo kyknya sih Moza cewe dan Mozy cowo.

Baru sehari gue pelihara, lagi lagi kucing yang makan Jack, makan hamster lagi, yaitu Mozy. That cat is really annoying. It's pretty hurt to know that you have something you love and its gone cause of some reason.

And now I have 4 hamster, it's Hammie, Jill, Jill's baby and Moza.

Good bye Jack, Snow and Mozy.

Everything I Like

Setiap orang pasti punya hal yang sangat mereka sukai. Dan hal yang mereka sukai pasti beda-beda tapi kemungkinan juga ada yang sama. Nah kali ini gue mau cerita apa aja yang gue suka. Biar kalian gak pada kepo, langsung aja deh. Check this out baby.

1. FATTENING
Gue suka banget sama makanan. Makanan itu bisa bikin gemuk kalo kita makan melebihi kalori yang dibutuhkan. Biasanya makanan yang bisa bikin kita gemuk itu adalah makanan yang berminyak, junk food, dan makanan yang manis. Tapi itu semua jenis makanan favorit gue. Apalagi Pizza dan coklat. Ya!! Itu bikin gendut, gue tau dan gue gak peduli. Itu semua enak dan gue suka jadi ya gue makan.

2. EXPENSIVE
Karena gue suka makan makanan yang bikin gemuk, jadi badan gue melebar dan baju gue pun ikut melebar. Biasanya baju big size itu harganya lebih mahal karena bahan yang digunakan juga lebih banyak. Pernah waktu itu gue beli kaos online, gue lagi chat sama yang jual.
"Sist, ada ukuran gedenya kan?"
"Ada sist, paling gede ukuran XXXL"
"Oh yaudah sis, mau ya satu ukuran XXXL"
"Tapi kalo ukuran plus, harganya juga plus sist, nambah 50.000"
Karna harganya nambah, gue pun gak jadi beli. Dan kalo beli baju yang big size dan murah, itu pasti modelnya udah kudet dan gitu gitu aja. Jadinya gak akan fashionable. Gue pernah beli baju big size, fashionable dan pastinya mahal, setelah gue pake tetep aja gak fashionable. Jadi gue kalo pergi pasti cuma pake jeans dan kaos.

3. WON'T TEXT ME BACK
Karena gue suka yang "FATTENING" dan "EXPENSIVE", jadi gue gendut dan gak fashionable. Dari gendut dan gak fashionable itu gue jadi jomblo 3thn. Dan setiap gue suka sama orang, orang itu gak balik suka sama gue. Contohnya, baru baru ini gue suka sama cowo dan dia termasuk cowo "keren". Hampir setiap hari....no! ralat! Setiap hari gue text atau chat dia, tapi jarang banget bales atau cuma diread doang. Setelah lebih dari 1 bulan kebegoan yang menyedihkan, gue baru sadar gue suka sama cowo itu dan cowo itu gak bakalan suka sama gue karena ada cewe lain yang langsing, cantik dan lebih fashionable daripada gue. Gue pun sekarang mundur, dan mencoba gak suka sama cowo lagi, karena apa? Karena kalo gue suka sama cowo pasti akan gue text atau chat dia duluan dan dia bakalan cuma read aja.

Segitu aja hal-hal yang suka. Jadi dapat disimpulkan gue suka yang "FATTENING" dan menimbulkan gue gendut, setelah gue gendut semua yang gue suka jadi "EXPENSIVE" dan menyebabkan gue jadi kudet atau gak fashionable. Dan itu semua menyebabkan orang yang gue suka "WON'T TEXT ME BACK". So segitu aja buat post kali ini, give It a reaction, bantu share biar temen lo bisa baca juga, thanks for visiting and keep visiting.

TOMORROW IS NATIONAL EXAM!!!

Hai guys! Hari ini hari Minggu dan artinya besok hari Senin. Dan besok itu udah UJIAN NATIONAL!!! Kali ini gue cuma mau minta doa kalian aja supaya gue bisa lulus UN dan lulus sekolah. Dan semoga gue bisa dapet nilai yang bagus, bisa masuk ptn yang gue mau. FYI gue berniat masuk UGM, UI atau UNJ ambil jurusan akuntansi atau sastra inggris. Wait! kalo kalian pikir gue pinter karna mau masuk UGM atau UI, kalian salah. Gue biasa-biasa aja, nilai gue juga pas-pasan. Jadi, kenapa gue mau masuk UGM atau UI? Itu kan impian gue, jadi harus gue raih. Banyak faktor yang bisa bikin lu raih impian Lo itu. Contohnya usaha, keberuntungan dan uang. Kalo usaha itu Lo harus belajar dan berdoa untuk mengapai impian lo. Kalo keberuntungan, lo diem aja tau tau juga udah kegapai impian lo. Nah kalo uang, jaman sekarang semua bisa dibeli sob, jadi kalo lo udah usaha tapi gagal dan keberuntungan gak berpihak sama lo, ya lo beli aja kursi kalo emang bisa. Kalo gue sih lebih pilih berusaha dan kalo bisa keberuntungan berpihak juga sama gue.

Oh ya gue juga mau minta maaf sama kalian kalian kalo gue ada salah. Namanya juga manusia pasti gak luput dari kesalahan. Dan jangan lupa buat doain gue juga ya guys. Love you ;)