Miss U, Dad

Hey guys! How are you? How's your family? I hope your family doing fine and always happy, not like mine. Today I just wanna tell my rant, what's going on in my mind. So...

You probably knew it that I'm a brokenhome kid. I hardly meet my dad, and my mom (more likely my step dad) forbids me to meet my dad tho. So we haven't talk for a long time and we haven't meet in a month.

I live in my dad's house technically but he barely home so I barely meet him. Even though he was home, I always felt so awkward to talk to him, I dont even know why.

So, I kinda miss him right now. And I miss all memories with him when I was young. There was so much good memories with me.

Things that makes me miss my dad is because he is different with my step dad. If I tell my step dad about things that's I can't do or when I tell him that I need a help to do something, he just gonna give me the instructions or tell me what I should do. Not like my lovely dad. I just need to tell him a story, not begging for help or anything, he will offer a help and he will guide me do it, or sometimes he will do it for me.

I remember he liked to bring me a jigsaw puzzle with cute picture on it after work because he knows how bad I love jigsaw puzzle. And sometimes he brought my fav cookie.

Every night before went to bed, he used to gives me ointment because I have dermatology problem. And sometimes he told me some short story that he made up or we had a little chat about anything or he could tell me some dad jokes.

I remember in my sweet seventeen birthday he made me cool big table that he made by himself (I know cause I saw by myself he made it) as my birthday gift. And I still use it. Also he made a wardrobe for me that I still use it, even though it's little broken but it still good and I will use it forever.

He is like a hero, he could fix everything in this house. But now he barely home and everything in this house seems broken. Nobody could fix it, I guess. And also nobody could fix a hole in my life, except him.

I just miss him so fucking much. I really want to hug him so bad. I just need him, i dont need another dad. He is not perfect but he is my dad and I will always love him.

Okay I think I will stop it because I hate it when I'm crying. Thank you guys for reading my another shitty rant. Keep visiting my blog, xoxo.